Five Things Automotive Enthusiasts Need to Stop Bitching About.

"Berang" (berang) 12/28/2015 at 21:19 • Filed to: let the hate mail roll in, roundabouts, traffic, ralph nader, trabant

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You won’t believe number six . One problem with automotive enthusiasts as a group is that they never stop whining or beating on certain things they don’t understand -or even make a minimal effort to understand. Here’s my top five things car enthusiasts should stop bitching about.

5: The Trabant

Ever since the Berlin wall came down, westerners have been making fun of the Trabant. It was an automotive symbol for everything wrong with Communism. We all felt so superior in our Ford Aerostars and Plymouth Horizons - cars that showed how truly mighty western capitalism was.

But that also meant nobody really took time to understand what they were criticizing. It was just a slow, ugly, car that hadn’t been updated much for a few decades. The problem with that mindset is the Trabant 601 was actually a pretty ingenious design, and at least when it was introduced, stiff competition for other cars in its class. In 1964 it handily beat other small cars in its class in terms of interior and luggage space, and it wasn’t appreciably worse than anything else in terms of performance. There is a myth that Trabants only sold because they were the only cars people could buy, but this is not really true either. The thing is most of the other cars available behind the iron curtain just weren’t as good - or they cost a lot more.

Sure by the time it ceased production all of those other cars were long gone and forgotten, but given the praise heaped on heaps like the BMC Mini and Citroën 2cv, one could guess that had the Trabi been made in the west it would be praised for its “idiosyncrasies” instead of damned for them.

4: Ralph Nader

For decades Nader has been the punching bag for unimaginative automotive journalists who wanted all of us to be outraged at an American exercising his rights to freedom of expression and pointing out that cars were in fact far more dangerous than they ought to be. He became the symbol for a nanny state that demanded automotive manufacturers spend a couple dollars putting seat belts in cars, so their customers didn’t die in minor fender benders. Outrageous demands right?

Here’s the thing that’s wrong with that mindset: Ralph Nader wasn’t the first to study the problem of automotive safety, or the first to publicly criticize automakers for not giving a single shit about the people they took money from. In fact, had GM not sent hired goons after Nader, and then been exposed - Ralph and his little book would have more than likely disappeared off of the radar screen. GM bought Nader fame and ensured he would get attention whenever he had an opinion to express. The real point though, is that regardless of whether or not GM had given Nader fame, the safety movement was already in motion. It would have happened with or without Nader.

Further, Nader didn’t kill the Corvair. This is one of the stupidest myths of automotive history. The Corvair was an expensive car to make, it didn’t share many parts with other GM cars. It required different production techniques. It required different skills to be assembled and repaired. It was unpopular at GM and with dealers. But it continued to sell even after Unsafe at Any Speed . GM killed the Corvair.

3: Bike Lanes

Let’s be frank here. Motorists who hate bike lanes are all colossal, self absorbed, idiots. People who can’t stand that there are other people, who are less lazy, in better shape, putting some effort into moving their own colossal ass around, instead of sitting in an oversized mobility scooter, shoveling burgers into their gaping pie hole. Ok, I kid. A bit . But, bike lanes exist for the sake of motorists. Not cyclists. The bike lane essentially is a small slow lane, for small slow vehicles to travel in, so those of us in cars can pass them easily. Something almost nobody driving a car understands is that in many states a bicycle is classed as a slow moving vehicle, like a tractor or road roller. Which means legally, when passing, you have to completely exit the lane - and pass them like they’re a huge tractor.

Unless you live in one of those states that says you need only give three feet between yourself and cyclists when passing - and apparently even that throws some people into shit conniptions and triggers massive hemorrhoidal flare ups. How dare anybody be mandated to display a minimal amount of respect for the life of another human being . And before one of these people comments about bike owners not paying for the road: Most people who have bikes also own cars. Yeah I know, mind blowing that somebody might own two forms of transportation!

In any event, bike lanes = good for motorists. Think of the bike lanes as the bicycle equivalent of that extra slow lane that appears on a steep mountain pass for semis.

2: Roundabouts:

People in places outside of the U.S. might be familiar with roundabouts. But when there was a sudden spike in their appearances stateside about 20 years ago - a lot of people lost their shit. Again, automotive journalists fueled the fires. I remember one particularly amusing column (in Car and Driver I think...) about how roundabouts were evil. Because their design was to slow traffic. As opposed to you know, a regular intersection that stops traffic with a stop sign or a stop light. We were supposed to hate them because traffic would move slower if people had to slow down instead of come to a complete stop.

The bigger problem was that roundabouts forced drivers to pay attention to the road momentarily, and make a judgment about how to drive! A yield sign? What? I have to make a decision and not rely on a light bulb to tell me what to do? Insanity! Two decades on and it seems most people have figured out how to handle them. There are still critics of course, and like any intersection, a roundabout is not perfect - but one still gets the impression most of the people complaining have never actually used one and are just afraid of circles.

1: Traffic.

You know that awful traffic jam you wasted your time in today?

Were you in a car ?

Were you by yourself ?

You are the problem. This is your fault. Yeah it’s annoying and tedious, and I’m stuck in traffic -in a car by myself- all the time. But I don’t pretend like I’m not the problem . This is the price we pay for personal powered mobility. You’re one person taking up fourteen or fifteen or more feet of road to yourself - along with thousands of other people wasting space in the exact same way. Of course tailgaters and idiots who don’t know how to drive are also part of the problem, but since people rightly bitch about those fools all the time, they don’t make this list.

Either get more people in your car, or get out of the car, or stop bitching about traffic like it’s everybody else’s fault. It is your fault.

Or at least get a Smart or something. Damn.

Steve in Manhattan > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:23

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I can find nothing to disagree with here ....

Nick Has an Exocet > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:29

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Ain’t nothing wrong with the Trabant. It was actually pretty awesome in a terrible way. The duraplast body was kind of a revelation - despite being an evolutionary dead end.

Nick Has an Exocet > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:32

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As someone that carpools every single weekday, I feel inclined to bitch about traffic. I’m doing my part and yet California keeps handing sticks to electric cars. Despite carpooling, the lane is just as clogged. I don’t even know why I bother.

DrJohannVegas > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:32

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Yea, I kinda agree with all of these.

EL_ULY > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:33

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Boobs and balls :] You are correct but trust me, there are waaaay more than 5 things enthusiasts, especially the younger ones, need to let go

Berang > EL_ULY 12/28/2015 at 21:36

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That is true. But I’m not that bored yet.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:37

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The future is minimalism. I hope.

lone_liberal > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:38

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The main problem with roundabouts is that they have become a fad with traffic engineers who are shoehorning them in places that they don’t belong. I have one in mind where they had to put in all sorts of S-curves in order to match up with existing traffic lanes plus the north/south traffic is much heavier than the traffic coming from the west (there is no fourth in/out). It has created a bottleneck where none existed before. There is another one around here that they put on a rural highway. They then had to re-do it because farm equipment couldn’t go around it.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:38

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The Trabant very much served it’s purpose in East Germany. It was small, cheap, spacious, and practical. Sure, it didn’t really go fast, at all. But it served as cheap transportation for years and years.

Berang > Nick Has an Exocet 12/28/2015 at 21:41

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But you see, when you’re in a car full of other people - you’ve earned your right to complain about traffic.

Berang > lone_liberal 12/28/2015 at 21:45

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We actually have a rather perplexing round about in the middle of Austin that serves no discernible purpose. It is in the middle of a two lane road. There are no other spurs. Its only practical purpose seems to be to allow people to turn back and go the way they came, or perhaps to slow traffic slightly because there is a park nearby.

DasWauto > Berang 12/28/2015 at 21:51

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Since you didn’t actually list number six, I’m going to assume it is the lack of brown, manual transmission, rear wheel drive, diesel wagons costing less than $20K. Though it should not be neccesary to explain why that one is a stupid complaint.

Berang > DasWauto 12/28/2015 at 21:58

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Nobody would believe me if I said it.

Rainbow > Berang 12/28/2015 at 22:26

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Don’t forget boring cars. Every time something appears on the FP that involves, say, a Prius getting wrecked, there will be at least 800 comments saying that nothing of value was lost, etc.

Please. Even a cheap car is an extremely valuable thing - outside of real estate, a person’s car is nearly always their most valuable possession. And, obviously, nobody is going to buy something like that and just not care about it. Every car is awesome in somebody’s eyes.

Tapas > Berang 12/28/2015 at 23:00

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Well said!

I read the entire article in my mind in Bill Burr’s voice :)

Jonee > Berang 12/29/2015 at 00:14

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Amen. It’s been talked about before, but I’d add lack of horsepower. You probably have enough horsepower in your car.

Stef Schrader > Berang 12/29/2015 at 00:15

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Aww, I *heart* the Trabant. They are the cuddliest of all wacky Communist cars. I want one so I can name it Peter Cottontail.

The only complaint I have for the humble little Trabi is that LeMons won’t let me run one. :o(

RallyWrench > Berang 12/29/2015 at 01:11

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I have but one star to give. Well put.

Wheelerguy > Berang 12/29/2015 at 02:02

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Dude, here in the Philippines, bikes lanes are few and far between. I HAVE TO FUCKING SPLIT LANES BECAUSE MOTORCYCLE RIDERS ARE USING THE SIDEWALK WHICH IS THE ONLY PLACE BIKES CAN RUN, MY GOSH!!!

Nauraushaun > Berang 12/29/2015 at 02:50

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Being stuck in traffic that isn’t your fault is bullshit. I think your complaining then is justified.

Like when you’re just driving home from a guy’s house on your normal route and you get stuck in really bad holiday traffic.

Berang > Stef Schrader 12/29/2015 at 04:17

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You just need to find one with a long enough wheelbase...

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Berang 12/29/2015 at 08:01

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On bike lanes:

I have to trouble with the concept. What I have a problem with is the overzealous implementation of them. Traffic on this road looks underinhibited, let’s remove a lane to make some bike lanes. What’s that, you say there’s a road with a bike lane/quiet residential street 1 block over? Meh, put it in anyway.

Bike lanes as a concept are great. Keeps everyone out of everyone else’s hair. However the idea that some people seem to have that every street needs one I just idiotic. They take an already overtaxed piece of infrastructure and make it even more impassable for traffic.

Unless of course somebody wants to put up the cash to widen every road by 12’. In that case, lay ‘em down.

Berang > Jonee 12/29/2015 at 12:41

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I honestly can’t think of a single under powered car for sale in the U.S. today.

Is there anything that cannot accelerate up to highway speeds with four passengers being sold in the U.S. ? I don’t think so.

Everybody who complains about the Subaru BRZ not having enough power should have to drive anything made in the 80s.

Jonee > Berang 12/29/2015 at 13:38

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Exactly. Even the Mirage will go 100 mph if you need it to.

Spridget > Berang 01/01/2016 at 16:02

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Let me add a couple:

1. “There aren’t enough performance cars for sale today/ in X year, X company had many great enthusiast cars.” Great, then buy the older car. We don’t care about how Honda had better cars back in 1987. Stop bitching and rock your ‘87 Civic then.

2. “X company should still offer X car.” The company cancelled it for a reason. You should have bought when it was new, but you didn’t. Sucks to be you; buy it used.

3. “X company has really lost their way.” No, they just don’t appeal to you anymore.

4. “Stance/donk/bro truck/drift/drag racing/Helicron/whatever owners are dicks and their cars are stupid and ugly, and their culture is ruining car culture.” It’s their car. You may not like what they do to it, but it’s their property. They can do what they want with it.

Just my two cents.

Also, If you own a 2cv, you just need to drive around a roundabout a couple of times and you can scare everyone in the immediate vicinity.